To Blog About Migraine or Not... I think I answered my own question.

I've not been consistent with this blog - frankly, I don't feel like I've been consistent with anything lately, but that's for another thread.  I stopped writing here soon after I started for one reason though - now, I've decided to write it all out and put it out there for opinion.



When I was young, I couldn't figure out why everyone was so serious. Life looked good from where I sat.

When I was in my teens and twenties, I was probaby a bit too narcissistic, which means I didn't really notice (or didn't care enough) that everyone else was too serious.

In my 30's, I'd weathered a divorce, moved many times, and finally settled into a job where work was my life. I worked 12 hour days, weekends, and took work home with me - now, I was the one that was too serious!

Now I am in my 40s and though I am still young, I believe that I've already learned an important lesson that some never learn. Life isn't supposed to be so serious!

I've had unhappiness and trauma in my life, for example when I was in college, I was the victim of a violent crime.  When I was in my late twenties my husband of seven years walked out on me for another woman.  And yes, for over thirty years, I have been a sufferer of chronic - and often chronic daily - migraine.  I feel as though the only reason why I have continued to be a functioning, positive, and successful woman is because of the choices that I  have made throughout my life.  Choice is powerful and yet some rarely give it a second thought.

I don't for a second  minimize anyone's pain and suffering and because of my history, I know full well that unless you have walked in another's shoes, you can not speak to another's frame of mind, but I do feel strongly that we have choices in this life and it is the strength of those choices that makes us who we are. 

When I was a victim of crime, I spent weeks in tears, anguish, and solitude, but something inside of me told me that I wanted to be the one to control my life and I would be damned if I let others do that for me.  I picked myself  up, I rose above and I moved on. 

When my husband left me, I again spent weeks in tears, and I spent more than one night (easily) seeking comfort in the bottom of a whiskey bottle and yet, that same voice spoke to me from somewhere deep inside that said "Lisa - you have the rest of your life to live and great things are waiting.  You won't find them sitting around in here."  Again, I rose above and I moved on.  (Oh, and later married the man of my dreams - we've been together nearly 20 years now - again, another thread.)

Now, my migraines.  (You wondered when I'd get to the point, didn't you!) Like so many others, I've "lived" with chronic migraine nearly my entire life - since childhood.  Medications have come a long way since my youth, but I remember a time when options were scarce and practically useless.  As years progressed, I tried every preventative in the book and many even made things worse.  Each doctor I'd see would want to try something new - I've been x-rayed, cat-scanned, and tested seven ways to Sunday (allergies, TMJ... you name it).  I even had sinus surgery when one Doc convinced me that it would do the trick... it didn't and it was miserable. I've had stretches of time when emergency room visits were common and when chronic daily migraine had crushed my spirit so low that I couldn't imagine going to bed at night knowing that the next morning would just bring more pain.  And yet, there was still that little voice...  My migraines were not going to run my life.  I was going to run my life. 

It wasn't always easy - and no, it didn't always work, but I was determined to rise above and I think I did a pretty damn good job of it.  Migraines with the frequency and severity of mine is a tough thing to hide, but I tried my best to stay in front of it and I have had several people over the years tell me they respect me for the way I handle it.  I am am not a migrainer first and a woman second - I am a woman who just happens to suffer from migraine.

It's important to me to rise above the challenges in this life, which made me begin to question - if I write a blog about chronic migraine, am I focusing too much on the negative in my life? 

I welcome opinions, but while writing this I think I've come to this conclusion. Writing - in this blog, or any other for that matter - about pain (of any kind) should serve to lift you up.  If you find that you are writing, reading, and yet sinking deeper, and wallowing in self-pity, then it's time to stop and reevaluate.  But if you are writing and reading to share with others, to lift yourself and others, and to make a positive statement, then I'd say we're on the right path... well, at least it's the path I'd rather be on.
Thanks for listening to me work this out...